Big sigh

So, yesterday I wake up early and drive my butt into downtown DC to get my blood drawn to confirm my negative beta. (My Bethesda office is only open M-F for monitoring.) I get there and the doors are locked and no one is home. It is early, I am tired and still very emotional. I call the number and get the answering service (because they don't pick up the phone on the weekends). I get a call back in 10 minutes later from the on call DR, and she said that no one was on the schedule so the office was not open. I was supposed to be put on the schedule when I got my IUI. So- I wake up early this morning (again) to go to the office as soon as it opens, because they need the negative beta. (Still tired) No one knows why I was not on the schedule. Everyone is very sorry for the mix up.

I am in near tears from the heartbreak, and the nurse said our timing was spot on and she is not sure why it didn't work. (I know it is not a guarantee, but hearing the nurse say that nearly put me over the edge.) I told her we were taking a month off because I need a break from the side effects. I felt pregnant. I had a lot of symptoms.

And yet... Nothing.
I woke up this morning at 4am, 2 HOURS before the alarm and I could not get back to sleep.

I am, again, heartbroken. This is only getting harder.

No baby

AF is here today. I had a 29 day cycle, which is long for me. The blood test tomorrow will confirm it. I took a test this morning for my own sanity. 16 DPO and a huge white space where my line shold be. We are taking this month off. I need a month to get the crazy out of my system. The hormones in the TWW made me NUTS. I need a break from that. I can't do it again so soon.

Friday- I don't know

I got a negative Tuesday and Thurday on the First Response test, but no period yet. This morning I went to put on my bra, and my boobs do not fit. I'll do another test tonight or tomorrow. Today is day 29, I usually have flow by now- and nothing. I also don't feel like I am going to get my period yet. I am still out of town, so I can't get a blood test until Sunday.

I also managed to contract bacterial Bronchitis while on vacation, and the dr said the Zpac was okay to take if I am pregnant. So, I don't know... I know clomid can delay things, but clomid did not affect when I ovulated, my body decided that. So maybe I am pregnant and the first response is not sensitive enough?

If I was home, I would have a blood test. I am now officially late and clueless.

4 days!!!!!!

I am excited to test Tuesday. We’ll be out of town, so I am not sure when I’ll get to update. I think that I will be able to access the internet at my in-laws, but I am not positive. I will do my best to update.

The mind numbing tiredness has lifted without caffeine, so that is exciting. My body must be getting used to it. I am still tired, don’t get me wrong, but it is not awful.
Tuesday will be 12 DPO and Cycle day 26. I am hoping we get the best x-mas present ever!

6 days until I test early

The tiredness is not so bad today. I am not so crazy emotional in the last 24 or so hours… :) I do feel a bit off. I feel really bloated, and I am not one to ever feel this way. Below my belly button, my body feels harder than I remember. I am about 10 pound heavier than I would like to be(in general), but I don’t remember feeling this uncomfortable in my comfy pants.

I will test on x-mas morning, which is day 26, and then I will test on the 27th, which is day 28.

Like Patsy Cline...

Boobs, sore...
Crazy emotions and tears for no reason, Check! I feel totally crazy and I am totally overreacting to everything. I don't know if this is the medicine or if I am pregnant. I hope I am pregnant, but it will be a LONG 9 Months. I feel bloated and wierd. Also, my body is starting to smell different.

I have to try to be a professional for the next 8 hours. I managed to leave my wallet at home so I have no money for coffee. I am tired and I know I am whining. If I could just know it was all for a good reason, I think I would feel better. Still crazy, but better. :)

hungry

Still tired, but I have managed to stave off the nausea be eating all day. This is not good. I need to by some mints or something.

I keep making this funny face and telling My Love that am I am helping the baby implant. It kinda looks like I am pushing something and with sqinched eyes. And I go "ughhh". Well, I crack myself up. :)

Tired

The prometrium I am on is kicking my ass. I am so tired, and sorta nausous. If I was not on it, I would be sure these are signs. I really hope this time worked.

Spermed up!

I feel really good about this time. The timing was spot on according to the blood tests. FF says it is not so good timing, but I think I will trust a blood test (they are totally accurate). We did the IUI yesterday about 10:30am. The nurse who did it says she was on a roll of getting people pregnant, I am more that willing to keep her streak alive! There were 65 million sperm and I can’t remember the other numbers. They said it was excellent motility for frozen, and everything looked really good. This donor thaws really well. We also did an at home ICI late last night, just to hedge our bets. I am all spermed up.

It is a good kind of weird to purposely pay to put that sperm in my body. I am picturing it doing the tango with my egg. They should be dividing right now and looking for a place to call home. The sperm is young and strong, the perfect stuff to make a baby with.

My acupuncturist said she gets a boy vibe from me. When I see a positive pregnancy test, I can dream of a baby boy. There were a lot of signs that this month is the right month to get pregnant. We inseminated on the 13th, which is My Love’s lucky number and the date she was born on. (Not born in December, but another month.) We would be on CD 28 on Dec 27th, I was born on the 27th of another month. BY the 28th cycle day, a home test should pick it up our positive. We will be out of town, so I can’t do a blood test until Dec 30th. We already have a name for a boy and a girl. I LOVE the boys name. It is all good. When I get pregnant this cycle, my due date will be 09/02/08. That is a great time to have our baby.

I started taking the prometrium twice a day today. I take it orally. I am officially in the two week wait. I am glad to be here. The trigger shot has made my boobs SORE today. It feels like someone slammed my nipples in a book. That is a kicky little side effect.

Good luck to all those trying, one of these days I will actually put links up to the blogs I read.

Today is the day

Today is the day to make a baby. I am beyond excited.I should have sperm in me by 11am today.

The trigger shot was not so bad. It took me awhile to get up the nerve to stab it in, but I didn't really feel it. My acupuncture was good, she did a lot of points around my uterus. It increases the blood flow to there. My ticker is spot on, as well.

Inseminate tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got the call and we are inseminating on Thursday morning. Good thing I ordered the sperm today. Apparently my body is good to go! I give myself a shot tonight at 9:30pm. I am excited. We are going to make a baby tomorrow!! I feel really good about this time. Really good. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soon

Well, my showdown with the dildo cam went well. I have 2 mature follicles, one right and one left. They are both about 18mm. I will wait to hear about my bloodwork, but it loooks like I will inseminate Friday morning. Possibly Saturday, but I got an LH surge on my OPK, so I think I will trigger tonight. I'll hear this afternoon. They usually call 3-4pm. I ordered my sperm for pick up tomorrow.

When we started this whole process we had purchased two ICI vials, as well as a bunch of IUI's. We are going to do an at home ICI, as well this time. I want to put all my eggs in multiple baskets. We used the other ICI the first insemination. I had just wanted to try it, but the IUI in the doctors office would be all I need.

So very exciting. I am ready and I have acupuncture tonight.

Another show down

My blood results were good, but they said I need a few more days to grow my follicles. I am going back in on Wednesday for more monitoring and blood. Depending on that, I will probably trigger Wednesday night and inseminate on Friday, maybe? I would usually get a surge tommorrow or Thursday anyway. The reason I am using the Ovidrel, (with some reluctance) is that I have gotten a positive OPK with NO ovulation before. This time I know I have follicles, so I want to make sure they get released. I kind of think of the trigger shot like a slow gun, it goes off, and my eggs come shooting out of my ovaries.

I just realized that I will (hopefully) be in the TWW for x-mas. I have to go to Kansas CIty, MO to visit my inlaws. Some of them like me fine and some...well... Anyways, no drinking for me. I will also have to discreatly figure out how to take the pregnancy tests while I am there. That will be a good problem to have, after so many months of not being able to even try.

Grow baby, grow!

Rock start right

We have follicles! I have one 14mm on my left ovary, and I have 2 15mm follicles and a 14.8mm on my right ovary. I have to wait for the blood results to see what to do next. My uterine lining was a bit thin at 6.8. They like it to be over 8. More waiting. I responded well to the Clomid, my body liked it.

Showdown with the Dildo Cam

Tomorrow morning I have a showdown with the dildo cam to see how my ovaries look. Updates will come tomorrow. I started OPKing to day, and I think I might surge sooner rather than later, like Tuesday or Wednesday. This week should be busy.

Come on ovaries!

Ironic

So, now that I am done with Clomid, I am waiting to see if I get to be part of the two week wait. Ironic. I still feel pretty oaky. I think I am a bit more emotional than I'd like to be, but I an not sure if any of that is the medicine, or if I am just hyper aware of my current state. I'm inclined to think it is the latter.

I don't have a headache. I guess it is all good.

100 mg

I still feel pretty normal on 100mg of the Clomid. Last dose is tonight, then I start OPK-ing on Sunday. Ultrasound on Monday. On Monday there should be something to see, and hopefully I'll be picking up my sperm next week.

It has been a long week, I look forward to tomorrow being Friday.

Three down, two to go

Well, I have day 3 of Clomid down. Only tonight and tomorow night left. I think it is going well. I will have a scan and bloodwork done on Monday to see how my body responded. The nurse said to start OPK ing on Sunday. If my body responds, I expect to have a surge next Wednesday or Thurdsay and insemination would follow the day after, I think.

The doctor said I will take Ovidrel, a trigger shot next week. I'll find out on Monday when to take it. I don't know much about that.

A bit

I feel a bit emotional, but frankly not any different than usual. I can be a huge crank in the morning and on the edge of tears one minute and laughing the next. That is just a day in the life of me. ( I am not bipolar, I am just VERY emotional. I came out of the womb that way.)

I have had a headache off and on since Monday morning. I used to be super prone to migraines befor acupuncture. I was even on a maintenance medicine for years. I went off all that stuff around May to prepare for pregnancy. I hadn't had a headache this annoying until Monday. 2 days of Clomid down, 3 to go! Right now I should be growing a thick lining and one or two really good follicles.

Come on body, you know what to do!

So far, so good

I started Clomid last night. I feel pretty normal today. Day 4.

A.M. Wanding

I got wanded first thing this Saturday morning. Nothing like having the dildo cam say good morning. No cycts and my bloodwork was normal. I start Clomid tomorrow night. I am excited. Maybe this will be it. It is baby time. I see the doctor on the 10th for a follow up sonogram and blood to see how my egg's are growing. I have had a number of (straight) women who used Clomid say how wonderful it was, and how the side effects were not bad for them. So, I am going to go into this whole thing with positive thoughts. I just need one really good egg. I've got young, fertile and mobile sperm. Let's go.

This whole process is teaching me all about patience and lack of control. These are probably good lessons for parenthood. When this cycle works, I'll find out the 26th-28th of December. It would be awesome to start the new year knocked up.

CD 1

Here we go again. Cycle day 1, people. I had a 27 day cycle, my last few had been 26 days. That seems pretty regular. I get wanded tomorrow morning. We will see what happens. I hope to be able to start Clomid on Sunday.

Roller Coaster ride begin...
CHECK!

One thing

Okay, here is a question. I have been reading a lot of ya'll's blogs and I don't see in any on them cycles where you can't inseminate like me. I have had more cycles where we wanted to inseminate but couldn't for medical reasons. Do you all just not know you have crappy eggs or no eggs? Do I just have more monitoring done at the beginning? The whole reason I started to get ultrasounds is that I felt like something was not right in my body.

Plugging away

I am just working and plugging away. Trying to enjoy life until I wait for more TTC stuff to come up. I am looking forward to having a few days off of work. It will be nice to chill out for a few days. I have Thursday and Friday off. Looks like around Dec 1, might be day 3 monitoring, depending on my timing. So until then, nothing I can do but relax and live my life.

An acquaintance/website read of mine - http://smartypants.diaryland.com/ - has an adorable 4 year old who created her own word, chillax. And she uses it in a sentence like, "I am going to go in my room and chillax for awhile." So, that is what I am going to do, chillax for the next few weeks. :)

(That word makes me laugh every time I think about it. At one point when the adorable child was younger, she also created the word allbody. As in, “Can allbody get me out of my crib?” Adorable kid stories are what I search out when I am having a particularly hard time with TTC. )

Out before I even started

The dildo cam showed NOTHING. She saw maybe one or two "teeny tiny" follicles. The kind you would get on day 3-5... The cyst was gone and my lining was nice and thick. No follicles. I can not make our baby without an egg. On the plus side, I am very comfortable using Clomid for my next cycle.

My temp started to go up and I had a dark OPK. My body thinks it ovulated.

Dissapointed doesn't even cover it. My acupuncturist says these things happen when the timing is right, I just hope that timing is soon. I don't know how much more dissapointment I can take. My heart hurts.

Thanks and 1 day to wait

Thanks to all my commenters. I appreciate the support and everything.

My OPK was darker today, but not as dark as my test line. So, I will probably get wanded tomorrow to take a look at my overies. My temperature is also lower as it usually is before I get an LH surge. On my way into work today, my right ovary twinged a bit. If I have a good follicle I am pretty sure we will inseminate on Friday. That would be VERY exciting. My cycle has been textbook so far, so I am hopeful. The last couple cycles that we were going to try inseminating, my temps were all over the map and my body was not making any sense. This cycle I can feel things working properly. Things just feel right.

Maybe it is baby time!

Day 11

Well, I peed on a OPK today, a slight line, but no surge. Which is good, as I have to be at work today and tomorrow first thing. Other days, I can be late and take PTO. I am running a training and no one could cover.

I am expecting to see a dark line on Thursday. That would mean an insemination on Friday when I see my pretty follicle. I know there is a possibility I might not have a good follicle, but right now I am going to believe that I am growing a huge normal sized follicle!! I really hope to inseminate this cycle.

Come on, baby. I am ready for you.

Day 7

Well, today is cd 7. I feel like my body is working well this cycle. Everything seem to be on schedule. Hopefully, next Thursday I'll get a color change and then we can see my one big follicle and inseminate on Friday. That would work best for my schedule. :) I have acupuncture on Monday, so I am looking forward the the energy I get from that.

I got a flu shot on Tuesday and now I have sniffles and congestion. Rude... I rarely get sick, see I have the immune system of 5 really healthy people. The only problem with rarely being sick, is that when I am, I am pathetic. I feel like one night of super good sleep could kick this sniffle back where it came from. I am excited it is Friday. I am trying to enjoy our quiet weekends while I can, because I hope in 10 months we have a little wriggly infant disrupting my Saturday sleep in's.

I know I don't talk about My Love often, but that is because she is an extreamly private person and this whole blog is all about me and my feelings. Rest assured she is by my side being the most loving and supportive wife I could ever hope for.

Always waiting

What is it about always waiting. Waiting to ovulate, waiting to inseminate, waiting to see if you are pregnant... It does not seem to end. It is quite a test in patience. I have never been the most patient person...

Maybe- still

Well, my hormone levels were good for CD 3. My Estrogen was 40 (normal is 25-75, with lower being better) and my FSH was 8.7 (anything under 9 is good.) I think the normality of my levels surprised the nurse because the cyst often raises your estrogen. (From what I understand the cyst is a huge ball of unrealeased hormones.)

We are going to take a peak at my ovaries when I see a color change on the OPK to see if we can do a natural cycle. There is a chance I will have one good follicle. If not, I will know for sure the Clomid is the right choice. When I was talking to my love and telling her that I am going to use the power of positive thinking to grow one really good follicle, my right ovary twinged. I never feel ovulation or my ovaries. By the way the cyst is on my left ovary, so I will likely ovulate on the right this month. Maybe that is the universe telling me I can do it on my owm with no drugs. Right? SURE! Anything is possible.

My acupuncturist is a huge proponant of believing that your thoughts can help shape your reality. Again, anything is possible. I really want to inseminate this cycle. So, I am focusing on growing one really big healthy follicle that can become our baby.

Grow, baby, GROW!!

Frustrated

I am frustrated. I had my appointment with the dildo cam to get this process going. Turns out I have a large cyst on my ovary. I won’t know officially until this afternoon, but it does not look good for Clomid this cycle, at all.

AAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is going to be very difficult to get pregnant, if I can’t inseminate. The nurse said my cyst was 44 (I think) millimeters, and when I asked if that was big, she said yes.

I know some of you have been trying longer than me, but I still just want to stamp my feet and yell WHY ME??!!! Why is my body doing this? I really was ready to try and get pregnant this cycle.

Tttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhpppppppppppppppppppttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Here we go again

I am on cycle day 2 people. I go in for day 3 monitoring Monday and start my Clomid Monday night. I had to fix my work schedule so I wouldn't be doing anything in the morning later next week. If I ovulate on days 12 or 13, I would inseminate on a weekeday. Looks like that should be my timing. Insemination later next week. I am still a bit scared to use Clomid, but I have accepted what I need to do. I am hopful for just one baby. Looks like it is back to the tank and getting my sperm.

There is always so much going on, I hope my body cooperates. I usually respons well to medicine, so I am hopful that 50mg of Clomid will be enough to develop one really good follicle.

I love early morning appoinments with the dildo cam. Looks like I will have to clear my schedule for next Monday's day 10 monitoring. According to fertility friend this is my 12 tracked cycle. No wonder I am tired of charting. For those of you keeping trak, we have only inseminated twice, and then also had my last cycle where we montored and found out we shouldn't be inseminating.

Someone in my department is pregnant again, due in April.. We have had someone pregnant in my department for the last 5 years, non stop. My department is 12 women, that is it. We have someone else going out with her baby in December. So, I figure I am next. :) If I get pregnant this cycle, I'll want to start telling people beginning of February, and she'll be back when I go out. I am still a bit bummed that I will not be 32 when our baby is born, but I am feeling okay that 33 is the right age for me to have this baby.

Expect more updates as I track my symptoms and blood reults.

skipping another month

Well, we are skipping this month as well. Last week, My Love got very sick on a new medicine, and my car crapped out. So, with the stress and the expence, I did not feel at all in a place to try with Clomid for the first time. (I am already CD 6 so the next cycle is only about 20 days away.) Plus My Love was gone most of this week for work and I don't want to try Clomid alone. I am already crazy emotional and I need her for my strength and steadyness.

I ended up getting a brand new car, and we were going to get one in about 6 months anyways. The timline just got moved up because it cost more to fix my old car that it was worth.

I guess I was a bit naive in thinking that when we started the TTC journey we would do every month in a row. We have tried twice, but have been doing this since June and I have been temping since January. I hope I get to stop temping in another month. That would be awesome!The good thing with my crazy short cycles, we get to try more often than some. I am averaging a 24-26 day cycle. Looks like we might inseminate middle of November. Sounds good, I am ready to get pregnant.

Thoughts

I am still processing everything. It looks like I will try Clomid and I am really trying to make peace with my fears of Clomid use. My cycle will probably start next week and then we continue the waiting and seeing what happens game. I don't love the waiting, but the time to process everything is very helpful.

Processing

I see my acupuncturist today, YAY!!!! I had to miss last week’s scheduled appointment because My Love was very sick. So, I am super overdue for an appointment, and this has not exactly been a low stress week. If any of my 2 (?) readers are in Suburban MD, next to DC I highly recommend this whole wellness center.
http://www.stillpointmindandbody.com/

I am still trying to process everything. My Love is so very supportive, and I wish she could do something for me, but I don’t know what I need. I know I am going to a fertility doctor, but I didn’t think I would need “fertility” treatments. I went to bed late and then I woke up at 4:30am today and could not get back to sleep. I usually get up at 6:30am. I am tired.

Tiny follicle

The verdict is in. I did surge and my tiny follicle is no good for baby makin’. The Dr highly recommends Clomid for the next cycle, starting at day 3. She want to do it days 3-7 instead of days 5-9 because I have short cycles and she wants to catch the follicle(s) in time for development. I asked if it could be a fluke, but she doesn’t think so. I am sad I will miss inseminating this cycle, but glad that we didn't just shoot $1000 up my hoo-ha with a small follicle.

More waiting

I had more blood work done today (CD13) and a sonogram. My follical was at 15mm, but with the + OPK and the temp increase I think I had an LH surge. That is too small a follicle for a surge. So now I wait to see if the blood work shows a surge. I'm tired and scared. We only have two more tries bought and I am not sure if there is more sprem by the donor that we both love. (and who could be My Love's twin in both baby pictures and attitude) This sucks. I like this even less that the two week wait. I am in a crappy mood and I am afraid I will start crying at work.

Confused

Apparently the Dr’s office did not get the VM I left on the nurse line (like I was instructed to leave). I called them at 3:40 as they close at 4pm. After talking to the receptionist, nurse, nurse then the doctor, I will be going in for more monitoring tomorrow. More blood drawn and another appointment with the dildo cam. I don’t know what to think. She said my day 10 estridol levels were 138, I don’t know what they are supposed to be. I should have asked, I just don’t know what to do. I am so confused. It seems like the harder we look at my body, the more things just are not what they should be. It looks like clomid is a real possibility.

What the heck!?!?!

The ultrasound showed one follicle at 13mm, which is a measurement they would expect on CD 6 or 7, not CD 10. The blood work had levels that matched the egg. The DR thought I was a good 4 days from ovulating. I got a positive OPK this morning. I called and left a message and am waiting for the nurse to call me back. I don’t know what the hell is going on. We won’t inseminate this month because there is no way my egg could have developed in 2 days. I don’t know. I left a message over 3 hours ago. I have no idea what my body is doing and what this means. I wish the office would call me back.

More tests

So Saturday, I am going to get a day 10 sonogram and a blood tests. We are going to see how my egg is developing and if I might need Clomid to make a mature egg. I hope not. The low progesteron is a concern and might be a red flag. I don't want to keep throwing sperm up my ho-ha if I don't have mature eggs. I am terrified to use Clomid. I am terrified of twins. We can't afford two babies. I am not sure how we are going to afford one, but everyone tells me you figure it out. We will not do IVF and we have a limit on how many time we will try, this is for both sanity and money reasons. My brain is tired.

Some one asked me about my hobbies. My hobby right now is trying to make a baby. I had no idea it would be such a time consuming hobby. I take time of work and it fills my thoughts and wekends. We buy supplies.

I play ice hockey with women, and I thought about taking this fall off while we try because it will save money, and I didn't want to commit to a team and then leave early on. I am still going to take time off, but I may sub when a team needs bodies if I am not pregnant. By summer when the next season pops up, I'll either be pregnant or we won't be trying anymore and I'll play.
My brain is really tired.

I'm back

So, we will probably end up inseminating at the end of this month. I am not sure exactly when. We are goingt to do a double this time, one ICI and one IUI. Hopefully, we can recreate the first insemination where I thing I did get preganant and now I will be on the Prometrium to sustain a pregnancy.
Taking a month off was wierd, I feel like I have been gone from TTC for years.

Bad fat lady, stop your singing...

Well, the fat lady sang and now she wants to get drunk. I am officially not pregnant.

It does not look like we will be able to try in September because we will be out of town cycle days 13-16, which is when I ovulate. Unless I ovulate late this month, we will not be able to try. (That would have given us a due date around my 33rd birthday, the end of June 2008.) Looks like I will not be 32 when I have our baby. I ovulated on day 15 this month, so if I ovulate on day 16 there is still a shot in hell. I had previously ovulated on days 13 or 14, so it doesn’t look good.
My cramps are kicking my ass this time around, which seems particularly rude… I am still tired from this morning's dose of useless prometrium. I just want to sleep.

Today is My Love and I’s two year wedding anniversary. The lab results were not a good present.

98% negative

Well, I am 98% sure I am not pregnant this cycle. I peed on a stick yesterday and today. Today was cycle day 29. I am bleeding, which means it is actually cycle day 1. I didn't think you could bleed on the prometrium. I am bleeding, full flow, as they say. I called the RE office to see if I should keep taking it and if I should keep my blood test appointment for tomorrow. They said yes, until you have a blood test that is negative. They said you can start bleeding on prometrium, but the sound of her voice made me think it is rare... Apparently my body has said, I am done for this month.

Now I am even more sure that I did get pregnant our first cycle, and my low progesterone could not support the baby. Oh the 98% comes from the handout that comes with the First Response pregnancy test. This is hard. Harder than I thought it could be.

Not yet...

I am hoping I peed on a stick too early. I tested on Thursday, which was only day 26, and 12 days past insemination. I bought a 3 pack of tests. I may try again tomorrow. I still have my blood test on Monday, and they don’t usually call with result until after 3pm…

There is some other stuff going on right now that has me distracted. My Love is having a bad neurological reaction to a medicine. So, I am kinda stressed out right now.

I am tired and I hope my weekend brings me good news and peace.

I have a ton of errands to do this weekend. There is very little food in the house and I need to vacuum our house desperately. Those are my jobs. We have a 6 year old cat, Willow who is mostly black and a 14 year old blond husky. The animal hair is crazy!

Waiting to test...

8 days to the official blood test. I have bought a 3 pack of home pregnancy tests. I am not sure when I will pee on a stick. Monday the 20th is day 30, so before that. The prometrium makes me sleepy. I was dizzy the first day, but now it seem just lethargy is the only symptom. Oh, my back is odly sore, I feel like I have worked out. Not my lower back, my middle back. Really, I did a lot of sitting and napping this weekend.

This is a good week for distraction. We are going to two Washington Mystsics’ games, Tuesday and Thursday nights. My Love played basketball for most of her life until knee surgery and an injury have sidelined her for life. She loves watching the basketball.

This morning, I asked My Love if my boobs seemed bigger. She said the left one did. That is a bit weird. I hope it is not just the progesterone doing that. I am so tired, I am going to get myself a coke now. (I have been so good not drinking caffeine, and I love fancy coffee drinks.) I have been down to maybe 1-3 drinks a week. SLEEPY! Back to work.

4.2 is too low....

So now I am a bit concerned. I just got a call from the RE, and my progesterone level is 4.2. They like to see it in the teens (10-20). Now I really wonder if I did get pregnant last cycle and my body could not support it. After this cycle, if we have to inseminate again, I am going to ask the doctor if we should check other hormone levels. For now, I will be picking up a prescription of prometrium after work. I hope it is enough to help things attached and stay attached. I still hope to be pregnant this cycle. It is early enough.

I have a pregnancy test scheduled with the doctor for the 20th.

Does progesterone affect the OTC pregnancy tests? I thought they measured something else, so I don’t think it should… Will I not get my period because of the progesterone? Looks like I’ll be e-mailing my doctor with some questions. I know that progesterone has to drop for you to get your period. I assume if I do get pregnant that they would keep me on progesterone. So, I guess I am going to have to wait… Ten days until that test….

I guess I kinda hoped that my progesteron level would be so high that they would run a pregnancy test on my blood and it would come up positive. There is time for that, in 10 days.

Peaceful

I have my blood work tomorrow. I feel pretty goood about this time. I had an acupuncture treatment this morning. I feel so good after them. I have a sense of peace and purpose as these days slowly move toward testing.

Try # 2

Okay, IUI #2 is inside me. The insemination went well. Because it is a Sunday, I had to go to the DC office of the fertility center, instead of where I usually go in Bethesda. My doctor was there to do it. It is very exciting.

This Friday I am going to get blood work to check to make sure my progesterone level stays up where it should be. I am excited and hopeful that this could be the one. The timing is good. This time the procedure was barely felt by me. (Last time there was a few minutes of crampy, weird, what the hell is that sensation.) That is after they swapped out the regular speculum for a littlier one. My Love enjoys inseminating me, though she is still a bit freaked out being that close to sperm.

Swim my little spermes, SWIM!

I am feeling pretty good. I hope the two week wait is a full two weeks this time!

Try 2?

Okay, so I have not had much to say. I think I am going to inseminate this weekend. I am also going to get a blood test 7 days past O to make sure my progesterone level is okay. This is because of the last crazy short cycle. I have not had a positive OPK, yet, and it is 2 days later than my average. We will see tomorrow, hopefully, I'll get one.

I really think I may have gotten preganant last cycle for, like, 2 days. My cycle this month has been weird and things just seem a bit off. This if after 7 months of textbook cycles. I don't know...

Is it baby time? I hope so!

I don't know

So, I find myself getting mad with My Love for no reason. My patience is short since AF came. I guess I really thought that is was pregnant. We have no reason to believe that it won't happen. I just really wanted to be pregant. It gives us more time to get our house in order, though. That is my bright side... We have a 57 year old house that keep us very busy.

Musing... right now just thoughtful and very dissapointed.

ttthhhhththththththpppptttt :(

So, not only did AF come, she was 3 days early! I didn't even get a chance to pee on a stick. I am going to e-mail my doctor to see if I should be worried about a 25 day cycle when most of my others were 28 -32. Most were 28. It looks like my luteal phase was still 11 days. My temp dropped like a rock, so there really is no way I am pregnant.

I was not fully prepared for the dissapointment. It is very tiring. So, on to cycle day one...

Irony

Okay. So, I am 7 days past ovulation according to fertility friend and our insemination timing was good. 7 more days to wait until I can test or see if AF arrives or my temp drops.

The weird thing is, my stomach has felt a little off since Saturday. I also felt a little nauseous this morning. It is a possible sign, but the net also says that particular sign doesn’t usually show up for another 3 weeks. And then maybe I am doing it to myself in my hope to be pregnant. I do feel a little weird and tired.

Before I came out at age 20, I dated men and tried to figure out why I never felt more than a friendship like connection with them. I managed to stay pretty far away from sperm because I could not picture myself having a baby and raising a child with any of those jokers. Now, I paid good money to put sperm inside myself in the hopes that it sticks. Ironic.

Waiting

So, it is done. We did and ICI Monday night and an IUI Tuesday morning. The sperms are in there and now we wait. It was weird to be that close to sperm. We are very excited about the journey. I went to acupuncture this morning and she did some treatment on my uterus that should help. I love acupuncture. I recommend it to everyone.

Waiting to get knocked up...

I don’t know if I should give background on myself. I am trying to remain anonymous for now… I am a 32 year old Maryland resident who has been with My Love for 4 and a half years. We had a wedding 2 years ago that the state does not recognize, but it was our wedding. We have been working on researching this baby process for over a year. I started charting in January, and started doing OPK’s a few months ago.

We are both planners and we are staring this journey very hopeful. I am waiting for the nurse to call me back to set up my official insemination tomorrow. We are doing IUI. I am picking up the sperm today. We are also going to try to do an ICI at home later, just for a couple of cycles. A lot of people ask me how we decided on who was to have the baby, it was easy for us as My Love can not have children. A few weeks ago she had a hysterectomy, and believe me, the irony of the timing is not lost on us at all.

I want to be pregnant!!!

Here we go

So, I think we are all ready for insemination next week. It all depends on when I get a positive OPK. It looks like Wednesday might be the magic day. The sperm is ready for me in storage. I am so excited to start this whole process.

Let's give this a try

As I start this whole baby making process with the love of my life, I thought it might be nice to have a place to put my thoughts. We will see...