CD 1

Here we go again. Cycle day 1, people. I had a 27 day cycle, my last few had been 26 days. That seems pretty regular. I get wanded tomorrow morning. We will see what happens. I hope to be able to start Clomid on Sunday.

Roller Coaster ride begin...
CHECK!

One thing

Okay, here is a question. I have been reading a lot of ya'll's blogs and I don't see in any on them cycles where you can't inseminate like me. I have had more cycles where we wanted to inseminate but couldn't for medical reasons. Do you all just not know you have crappy eggs or no eggs? Do I just have more monitoring done at the beginning? The whole reason I started to get ultrasounds is that I felt like something was not right in my body.

Plugging away

I am just working and plugging away. Trying to enjoy life until I wait for more TTC stuff to come up. I am looking forward to having a few days off of work. It will be nice to chill out for a few days. I have Thursday and Friday off. Looks like around Dec 1, might be day 3 monitoring, depending on my timing. So until then, nothing I can do but relax and live my life.

An acquaintance/website read of mine - http://smartypants.diaryland.com/ - has an adorable 4 year old who created her own word, chillax. And she uses it in a sentence like, "I am going to go in my room and chillax for awhile." So, that is what I am going to do, chillax for the next few weeks. :)

(That word makes me laugh every time I think about it. At one point when the adorable child was younger, she also created the word allbody. As in, “Can allbody get me out of my crib?” Adorable kid stories are what I search out when I am having a particularly hard time with TTC. )

Out before I even started

The dildo cam showed NOTHING. She saw maybe one or two "teeny tiny" follicles. The kind you would get on day 3-5... The cyst was gone and my lining was nice and thick. No follicles. I can not make our baby without an egg. On the plus side, I am very comfortable using Clomid for my next cycle.

My temp started to go up and I had a dark OPK. My body thinks it ovulated.

Dissapointed doesn't even cover it. My acupuncturist says these things happen when the timing is right, I just hope that timing is soon. I don't know how much more dissapointment I can take. My heart hurts.

Thanks and 1 day to wait

Thanks to all my commenters. I appreciate the support and everything.

My OPK was darker today, but not as dark as my test line. So, I will probably get wanded tomorrow to take a look at my overies. My temperature is also lower as it usually is before I get an LH surge. On my way into work today, my right ovary twinged a bit. If I have a good follicle I am pretty sure we will inseminate on Friday. That would be VERY exciting. My cycle has been textbook so far, so I am hopeful. The last couple cycles that we were going to try inseminating, my temps were all over the map and my body was not making any sense. This cycle I can feel things working properly. Things just feel right.

Maybe it is baby time!

Day 11

Well, I peed on a OPK today, a slight line, but no surge. Which is good, as I have to be at work today and tomorrow first thing. Other days, I can be late and take PTO. I am running a training and no one could cover.

I am expecting to see a dark line on Thursday. That would mean an insemination on Friday when I see my pretty follicle. I know there is a possibility I might not have a good follicle, but right now I am going to believe that I am growing a huge normal sized follicle!! I really hope to inseminate this cycle.

Come on, baby. I am ready for you.

Day 7

Well, today is cd 7. I feel like my body is working well this cycle. Everything seem to be on schedule. Hopefully, next Thursday I'll get a color change and then we can see my one big follicle and inseminate on Friday. That would work best for my schedule. :) I have acupuncture on Monday, so I am looking forward the the energy I get from that.

I got a flu shot on Tuesday and now I have sniffles and congestion. Rude... I rarely get sick, see I have the immune system of 5 really healthy people. The only problem with rarely being sick, is that when I am, I am pathetic. I feel like one night of super good sleep could kick this sniffle back where it came from. I am excited it is Friday. I am trying to enjoy our quiet weekends while I can, because I hope in 10 months we have a little wriggly infant disrupting my Saturday sleep in's.

I know I don't talk about My Love often, but that is because she is an extreamly private person and this whole blog is all about me and my feelings. Rest assured she is by my side being the most loving and supportive wife I could ever hope for.

Always waiting

What is it about always waiting. Waiting to ovulate, waiting to inseminate, waiting to see if you are pregnant... It does not seem to end. It is quite a test in patience. I have never been the most patient person...

Maybe- still

Well, my hormone levels were good for CD 3. My Estrogen was 40 (normal is 25-75, with lower being better) and my FSH was 8.7 (anything under 9 is good.) I think the normality of my levels surprised the nurse because the cyst often raises your estrogen. (From what I understand the cyst is a huge ball of unrealeased hormones.)

We are going to take a peak at my ovaries when I see a color change on the OPK to see if we can do a natural cycle. There is a chance I will have one good follicle. If not, I will know for sure the Clomid is the right choice. When I was talking to my love and telling her that I am going to use the power of positive thinking to grow one really good follicle, my right ovary twinged. I never feel ovulation or my ovaries. By the way the cyst is on my left ovary, so I will likely ovulate on the right this month. Maybe that is the universe telling me I can do it on my owm with no drugs. Right? SURE! Anything is possible.

My acupuncturist is a huge proponant of believing that your thoughts can help shape your reality. Again, anything is possible. I really want to inseminate this cycle. So, I am focusing on growing one really big healthy follicle that can become our baby.

Grow, baby, GROW!!

Frustrated

I am frustrated. I had my appointment with the dildo cam to get this process going. Turns out I have a large cyst on my ovary. I won’t know officially until this afternoon, but it does not look good for Clomid this cycle, at all.

AAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is going to be very difficult to get pregnant, if I can’t inseminate. The nurse said my cyst was 44 (I think) millimeters, and when I asked if that was big, she said yes.

I know some of you have been trying longer than me, but I still just want to stamp my feet and yell WHY ME??!!! Why is my body doing this? I really was ready to try and get pregnant this cycle.

Tttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhpppppppppppppppppppttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Here we go again

I am on cycle day 2 people. I go in for day 3 monitoring Monday and start my Clomid Monday night. I had to fix my work schedule so I wouldn't be doing anything in the morning later next week. If I ovulate on days 12 or 13, I would inseminate on a weekeday. Looks like that should be my timing. Insemination later next week. I am still a bit scared to use Clomid, but I have accepted what I need to do. I am hopful for just one baby. Looks like it is back to the tank and getting my sperm.

There is always so much going on, I hope my body cooperates. I usually respons well to medicine, so I am hopful that 50mg of Clomid will be enough to develop one really good follicle.

I love early morning appoinments with the dildo cam. Looks like I will have to clear my schedule for next Monday's day 10 monitoring. According to fertility friend this is my 12 tracked cycle. No wonder I am tired of charting. For those of you keeping trak, we have only inseminated twice, and then also had my last cycle where we montored and found out we shouldn't be inseminating.

Someone in my department is pregnant again, due in April.. We have had someone pregnant in my department for the last 5 years, non stop. My department is 12 women, that is it. We have someone else going out with her baby in December. So, I figure I am next. :) If I get pregnant this cycle, I'll want to start telling people beginning of February, and she'll be back when I go out. I am still a bit bummed that I will not be 32 when our baby is born, but I am feeling okay that 33 is the right age for me to have this baby.

Expect more updates as I track my symptoms and blood reults.